Who Was Marge Cooney?
Margaret Mary Cooney wasn’t your typical celebrity wife. Born in 1936, she grew up during the Great Depression and came of age in the 1950s—a time when women were expected to support their husbands’ careers from behind the scenes. But Marge was more than just a supportive spouse.
She was a hands-on mother who raised five children while Phil’s career skyrocketed. When “The Phil Donahue Show” premiered in 1967, revolutionizing daytime TV with its audience participation format, Marge was home managing what could only be described as organized chaos. Five kids under the age of eight? That takes serious skills.
What set Marge apart was her choice to stay out of the spotlight. While other celebrity wives might have leveraged their husband’s fame, Marge consistently chose privacy. This wasn’t because she was shy—it was because she understood what truly mattered to her.
Early Life and Background
Marge Cooney’s story begins in West Orange, New Jersey, where she was born to Mr. and Mrs. James B. Cooney in 1936. Like many families of that era, the Cooneys moved around a bit. They lived in Chatham, New Jersey, for a while before settling in Boca Raton, Florida, where Marge would spend three decades of her life.
But there was one place that captured Marge’s heart completely: Sea Girt, New Jersey. This small shore community became her summer sanctuary for an incredible 57 years. Anyone who’s spent time at the Jersey Shore knows there’s something special about those coastal towns—the sense of community, the rhythm of the seasons, the way families return year after year.
These early experiences shaped Marge in important ways. Moving between different communities taught her adaptability, while her deep connection to Sea Girt gave her roots. Both qualities would serve her well in the years ahead, especially when she found herself married to a man whose career would take them places she never imagined.
Education and College Years
Education was important to the Cooney family, and Marge started her academic journey at St. Mary’s High School. This foundation in Catholic education would influence her throughout her life, instilling values that she’d later pass on to her own children.
After high school, Marge headed to the College of Mount St. Joseph in Cincinnati, Ohio. This was during the 1950s, when college opportunities for women were expanding but still limited compared to today. The fact that Marge pursued higher education shows she was forward-thinking for her time.
But it was her decision to continue her education at Marquette University in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, that changed everything. Marquette wasn’t just where Marge earned her degree—it was where she met Phil Donahue. Sometimes life’s biggest moments happen when you least expect them, and for Marge, walking onto that campus meant walking toward a future she couldn’t have imagined.
Marriage to Phil Donahue
Picture this: it’s the late 1950s, and two college students meet at Marquette University. Phil Donahue, fresh from the University of Notre Dame, was ambitious and charming. Marge Cooney was intelligent, warm, and grounded. It was the kind of college romance that seemed destined for success.
On February 1, 1958, Marge and Phil said “I do” at San Felipe de Neri Church. The ceremony was traditional, reflecting the values of their generation. They were young, in love, and ready to take on the world together. Phil was just starting his broadcasting career, and Marge was ready to support his dreams.
Those early years weren’t easy. Phil worked various radio and television jobs, often requiring moves from city to city. Marge adapted to each new place, creating homes wherever they landed. She understood that Phil’s career required flexibility, and she provided the stability that allowed him to take risks.
When “The Phil Donahue Show” launched in Dayton, Ohio, in 1967, everything changed. The show’s format was revolutionary—Phil walked into the audience, handed people microphones, and tackled topics other shows wouldn’t touch. While Phil was making television history, Marge was making sure their family stayed grounded.
Motherhood and Family Life
If you think managing one child is challenging, imagine five kids born within six years. That was Marge Cooney’s reality. Michael arrived in 1959, followed by Kevin in 1960, Daniel in 1961, James in 1963, and finally Mary Rose in 1965. Each child brought joy, but also exponentially more complexity to daily life.
Marge didn’t just manage the logistics of a large family—she created a loving environment where each child could thrive. Picture the Donahue household: breakfast for seven people, five different school schedules, homework help, sibling squabbles, and all the unexpected dramas that come with raising kids.
As Phil’s show gained national attention and moved from Dayton to Chicago, then to New York, Marge kept the family anchored. She attended parent-teacher conferences, organized birthday parties, and made sure the children felt secure despite their father’s increasingly demanding schedule.
The kids weren’t just well-behaved—they were genuinely good people. That doesn’t happen by accident. Marge instilled values that would last a lifetime: the importance of education, treating others with kindness, and understanding that family comes first. These weren’t just words in the Donahue household; they were lived principles.
What’s remarkable is how Marge managed to give each child individual attention while keeping the family unit strong. Michael, the oldest, learned responsibility early. Kevin developed a love for running that would last decades. Daniel became known for his quiet thoughtfulness. James grew into a passionate advocate for justice. And Mary Rose, the only girl, held a special place as the baby of the family.
Divorce and New Beginnings
After 17 years of marriage, Marge and Phil’s relationship ended in 1975. Divorce was less common then, especially among Catholic families, making this decision particularly difficult. The reasons remained private—a reflection of Marge’s lifelong preference for keeping personal matters out of the public eye.
The custody arrangement reflected practical realities. Phil kept the four boys—Michael, Kevin, Daniel, and James—while Marge took Mary Rose. This meant Marge would be starting over as a single mother with a ten-year-old daughter, while maintaining relationships with her four sons who lived with their father.
Instead of staying in the television world that had defined her married life, Marge made a bold choice. She moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico, where she had family connections. This wasn’t just a change of address—it was a complete life reset.
Some might have seen this as stepping backward, but Marge saw it as moving toward what mattered most. In New Mexico, she could focus on raising Mary Rose without the pressures of celebrity life. She could rebuild her identity as something other than “Phil Donahue’s wife.”
Life After Divorce and Legacy
The years after her divorce revealed who Marge Cooney really was. Without the spotlight of celebrity marriage, she created a life centered on faith, family, and community service. In Albuquerque, she wasn’t known as anyone’s ex-wife—she was simply Marge, a woman who contributed to her community in meaningful ways.
Faith became increasingly important to Marge during this period. She remained active with St. Mark’s Church in Sea Girt, New Jersey, maintaining her connection to the shore community that had always felt like home. She also participated in activities at St. Joan of Arc Church in Boca Raton, Florida, where she had deep roots.
These weren’t just Sunday morning commitments. Marge volunteered her time and energy, finding fulfillment in helping others rather than seeking recognition for herself. She also stayed connected to the Spring Lake Golf Club, where she enjoyed both the game and the friendships that came with it.
Despite the divorce, Marge maintained strong relationships with all her children. When Phil married actress Marlo Thomas in 1980, Marge handled the situation with grace. She understood that her children’s happiness was more important than any lingering hurt feelings.
The family faced tragedy in 2014 when James, the youngest son, died suddenly of an aortic aneurysm at age 51. James had been living in Hawaii, where he practiced law and worked as an investigative researcher for Ralph Nader’s organization. His death devastated the entire family, including Marge, who had watched her youngest child become a passionate advocate for justice.
On February 2, 2018, Marge Cooney passed away peacefully at Brandywine at Wall, a senior care facility in New Jersey. She was 82 years old. True to form, she had chosen to spend her final years near the Jersey Shore that had meant so much to her throughout her life.
Marge Cooney’s story matters because it represents something we don’t see enough of today: a life lived with purpose, dignity, and clear priorities. She could have capitalized on her connection to a famous ex-husband, but she chose a different path. She could have sought the spotlight, but she preferred to work behind the scenes.
Her legacy lives on in her children and grandchildren, in the communities she served, and in the example she set. In a world obsessed with fame and social media presence, Marge Cooney’s life reminds us that the most meaningful contributions often happen away from the cameras.
The story of Marge Cooney proves that you don’t need to be famous to live a remarkable life. Sometimes the most important work happens in the quiet moments—raising children, supporting communities, and choosing love over recognition. That’s a legacy worth celebrating.
